I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
not ubering you a puppy
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
