Say something about gay babies.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize