was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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