I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
