We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
