I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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