You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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