Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
