What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
