Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I currently don't understand fingers.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
