I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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