You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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