the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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