Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
