Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
