I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
