And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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