Your dad touched me again.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I had to cum in my sink.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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