Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize