he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
