The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
