So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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