I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
