if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
