Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
