its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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