shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
