I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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