On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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