You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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