Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
smell my finger.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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