Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
