She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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