Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
