Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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