she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
