Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
