if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
