I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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