Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
