And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so let's talk penis.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This toilet bowl is my home.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
