I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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