Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
