If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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