Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
