5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Life is so much better after having sex.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
