it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
