How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
