Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
where are you?
Hypothermia
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
