therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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