careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
