Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
