Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
