She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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