Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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