Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
