You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you never un-have a 4some
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
