in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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