she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
