Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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