I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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