Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
