if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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