I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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