The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
