Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
