Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize