so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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